Category Archives: Case Studies

P1030102

Tony’s Heartbreaking Tale

This is our latest approved GlobalGiving report sharing a #FailForward story of our work with street kids.  We hope that by reading it, you will understand better the complexities of the work we are involved in with vulnerable children.  We appreciate your continued support as we embark on a new initiative, Disadvantage to Advantage!

Fair Life Africa Foundation met Tony* (name has been changed) in March 2012 at Kuramo Beach during one of our outreaches.  At the time, he was only 11 years old.  While on the street, he begged for money and helped people carry their loads for tokens during the day, and would sleep on the sand by the beach at night.  Prior to his admission into the FLA Home, he fell ill to malaria, and though we couldn’t accommodate him at the time, we provided him with food and medicine, and took him into our care when the Home opened in April 2012.  Tony was one of the first three boys who we enrolled in our Pilot Programme.

According to him, he ran away from home because his Grandfather and Aunt frequently beat him for every mistake he made.  We later found out, through our interactions with him, that he showed signs of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), which his family would have mistook for stubbornness.  While in our care, he was also assessed by a Child Psychologist, who observed the same thing.  When Tony realized that his challenges stemmed from this behavioural disorder, he was a much happier boy, as he responded to our counselling and disciplines, and was motivated by rewards for good behaviour too.

Tony stayed at the FLA Home for a period of 13 weeks, which was the maximum time allotted for the Pilot Programme.  During this period, our Social Worker and Support Workers visited his former place of residence at his Great Grandmother’s house.  He and his siblings had been passed around from family member to family member since his parents separated in 2007.  His mother had moved away to Egypt (and is now re-married), and his father was unable to care for his children on his own.  However, more than anything, Tony wanted to live with his father.

The few interactions we had with Tony’s father were encouraging, as he was appreciative of our involvement and support, and showed a willingness to learn and take responsibility for Tony.  He had no residence, as he lived at his place of work, and drove trucks morning and night.  His work was also in jeopardy as he had gotten into an accident with one of the trucks.  He was happy when we suggested that we could find and rent a place close to his garage where he and Tony could live.  Tony was also thrilled at the idea of going back to live with his father.

However, this placement was the biggest mistake we ever made!  We found out much too late that Tony’s father was an alcoholic and a negligent father.  After we reconciled Tony and his father, we also enrolled Tony in school.  He was a bright boy with potential, but he lacked the love and care of his parents.  We learnt from the school that Tony was often unkempt, dirty and confused.  On at least two occasions, the Principal felt it necessary to bathe him and brush his teeth, as he was not taking care of himself.  During our follow up visits, we would detect the smell of alcohol on his father’s breath in the early afternoon.  We counselled him repeatedly to think of his child and drop the habit, but he either denied it or made empty promises to change.

In the end, despite our efforts, Tony ran away again.  He was, however, quickly spotted by the authourities and taken into Government care.  When they learnt of our involvement with the family, they quickly handed him over to his father again, despite our recommendations for them to keep him and bring the father to account.  We had written to them prior of his absconding from home, seeking their participation.  However, the Lagos State Ministry had said he was outside their jurisdiction, because he lived on the outskirts of Lagos and Ogun State.  The Ogun State Ministry never responded to our letters calling their attention to Tony’s case.  However, as we had no power to remove him from his father’s care, we tried to manage the situation the best way we could.

Tony returned to his home in time to sit his Common Entrance Examinations into Secondary School, and passed, despite his challenges!  His older brother came to live with them, and we hoped that this would encourage Tony, as he had been pining for his other siblings to join him and his father.  However, things continued to spiral downhill.  Tony’s father used the arrival of his 15 year old son to become even more negligent by leaving the children unaccompanied for days at a time, with little provision for food!  The boys would fight and quarrel until their neighbours had to intervene.  They would often insult the neighbours or get into other mischief in the community as well!

Eventually, Tony stopped paying any attention to school, and began seeking small jobs locally for money.  He later said that he didn’t want to go to school anymore, but work in construction.  His father often complained about looking after the children by himself, and that their mother doesn’t help him financially, despite his requests.  Overtime, our calls and visits became less welcome.  Our last visit to see Tony was in December 2013.  When we got to the place we had rented for his family, we saw only his father and brother.  Tony, they said, was staying with his Grandfather.

We did see Tony at his Grandfather’s, where we also left the provisions we had brought for him and his family for Christmas.  He seemed happy and content.  We were not sure how long his stay would be, but we were sure that we had failed him.  We knew that his father didn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t and couldn’t look after him anymore, and it was so sad that after more than a year and a half, we were back to square one.

We learnt a lot from this experience with Tony.  It is actually because of children like him that we have decided to start up a different initiative, Disadvantage to Advantage, which is not focused on street children, but disadvantaged children.  Rather than rescue children from the streets and return them to what might be an unwholesome environment, beyond our control, we are offering long term support to children who are disadvantaged, but brilliant, to achieve their potentials, by completing their course of study or training.  They may either reside at the FLA Home, or at their own homes.  In the case of Tony, he would have been able to reside in our Home, and be supported to complete his Primary, Secondary and University education.

The key difference between the Disadvantage to Advantage Initiative and the Care Continuity Challenge Initiative is that the former is not terminal.  Children who are adopted into the programme will receive the support they need, until they become mature and independent, to stand unsupported.  Support is given on a case by case basis, knowing that each child is different, and needs different interventions to achieve!  We are hopeful that this new way of operating will enable more children to benefit from our initiatives in the long run.  Thank you for your support!


 

Charles 2

Two Years and Counting…

Our most recent GlobalGiving report has been approved and rated 5-excellent!  Please read and share, and support the initiative.

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More than two years ago, Charles was rescued from the streets of Lagos by Fair Life Africa Foundation.  We had spotted him at Kuramo Beach where he hung out with others like himself, who had ran away from home for various reasons.  He had ran away after succumbing to the influence of mischievious boys in his neighbourhood.  However, he realised his mistake too late, and for fear of being beaten by his father, he had remained on the street.

Charles was one of the older boys at the Home.  At the time, he was 16 years old.  He was not the best behaved, either, as he was quite troublesome and overly playful.  We were not sure whether he would see the programme through, as he appeared uncommitted.  Through counsel, discipline and empowerment, he was encouraged to change his ways.  By the end of his three month stay, Charles, like the rest of the children with him, was eager to return home to his family, who had been visiting the Home and were also excited about his return.

In July 2012, Charles went back home to live with his family in a small town in Lagos.  His family depended on his step-mother’s business, which had been neglected for lack of funds after a period of illness.  Fair Life Africa gave the family a financial boost, so that the business could be restarted.  Two years on, the business is still going strong with the small investment we had made in 2012!

Charles also was keen to return to school.  At his age, he should have been at senior secondary level, but because he had dropped out of school at Junior level, without completing his final exams, he would have had to start again at the beginning if he went to public school!  However, private schools were happy to take him at JSS2, which was a year’s advantage.  Fair Life Africa decided to make the additional investment of paying for his private school education, so that he can gain back years lost, and also be assured of a decent education.

Last August, the family had to move from their long-term accommodatiom at the notice of the landlord, and were stuck financially.  In Nigeria, landlords demand a minimum of a year’s rent upfront, and tenants also have to pay agency and agreement fees, which make relocation challenging for many.  Fair Life Africa assisted the family to make this move, by helping them to pay these fees so that they could find a new abode, near enough to Charles’ school and his mother’s business.

Now, July 2014, Charles has finally completed his Junior Secondary education, and done his Junior WAEC (West African Examinations Council) Exams, with the support of Fair Life Africa and our partners.  He is now awaiting his results and transfer into Senior Secondary School.

This month marks two years that Charles has been at home, and we are so proud of him.  He really has come a long way from the boy we first met at Kuramo Beach, and the one who resided in the Home.  Unlike some of the others we worked with, he has shown himself to be committed to rehabilitation, and ready to work for the life he deserves.  We keep hearing good reports from his family about how he is doing at home.  Thanks so much for enabling us to make this difference in his life.

Charles would very much like to continue his secondary education privately, because the public school system is quite problematic in Nigeria.  We are looking for a sponsor who will take on the noble duty of supporting Charles through his final three years of secondary school.  We would love to hear from you, if there’s any way you can assist.  Thank you!

There are still other boys who are celebrating one year and two years at home this month!  We are using the rare opportunity of GlobalGiving Bonus Day to raise additional funding, so that we can encourage these children to stay #home4good!  Today, from 9am(EST)/2pm (WAT), donations raised on our project page at www.goto.gg/9103 will be matched by 40%!  Please help us to maximise the opportunity by making your own contribution and encouraging your friends and family to support too.  Thanks and God bless you as you give.

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P1090538

Gbenga’s Easter Story

Our latest report to GlobalGiving has been approved and rated a ‘5 Excellent!’  Do read the report below, and share and lend your support too.  Cheers!

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Gbenga’s name has been changed for confidentiality.

The atmosphere at Gbenga’s house was different around Easter time last year. It was his second home visit, after a lengthy stay on the streets. Fair Life Africa Foundation took him home for a long week with his family, as we facilitated his reconciliation with his parents and siblings.

His stay at home was short and sweet, and all were hopeful for a strong reconciliation. His mother anticipated his final return home in July, after his completion of our academic year programme. She was pleased to learn that he was one of our best behaved boys at the FLA Home. Gbenga was also happy to be with his siblings again, and looked forward to returning home with Fair Life Africa’s support.

However, a year down, the atmosphere at Gbenga’s home was not so pleasant. The novelty of his return had wore off, and every family member had to come to grips with the reality that “we are all human and different and just need to get along!”

Every home has its challenges, and the saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true for all. The reality is that we all must truly desire peace, and be ready to make some sacrifices to get along with our loved ones, because it won’t be happy times all the time.

Gbenga and his mother have their issues just like any other family. Our visit in April, just before Easter, to resolve a major conflict at home was not the first of its kind. It appeared that Gbenga was seeking to prove his maturity prematurely, while his mother had been holding on to some resentment over his past mistakes. It appeared that forgiveness and understanding had no place in their home. We were sad that they were throwing away the second chance they had been given by being disagreeable with each other.

However, around Easter time, something magical happened. Our visit, which seemed fruitless at the time, turned out to have sown some good seed in their hearts. We got a call from Gbenga’s mother apologising for how they have been behaving, and informing us that they had both spoken and are working at being more understanding of each other.

Gbenga also got in touch to apologise for his behaviour and assure us that he is still committed to staying home, and wanted us to continue to support him and his family in this.

Our Easter celebration visit to Gbenga’s home was our last visit of the season, as we had visited the other reconciled children earlier in the month. We were pleased to find the Easter spirit present at this visit. Gbenga and mother were much happier and considerate of each other. We are sure that their expectations of each other are more realistic, and that though more challenges will arise, they will choose forgiveness and understanding to rise above them.

Gbenga’s story shows us that life is no fairy tale, and that happiness is a choice we all must make. If we are not ready to extend grace to others, so that we can live peacefully among them, we do ourselves a great injustice.

We are so glad for Gbenga and his mother, that they have learned this lesson. Unfortunately, we can never control the outcome in the lives of the children who we reconcile with their families. There are so many factors that may take them from the road of happiness to that of breakdown again. But we are always following up on them with phone calls and visits, to ensure that everyone is committed to the objectives of reconciliation, peace being paramount.

Fair Life Africa also lends support to reconciled families, by sponsoring children’s education or vocational training, and helping where necessary with financial support for the family business or accommodation needs in times of crisis. Your support enables us to go the extra mile, so that our persistent support will result in more children leaving the streets and staying off the streets!

Thanks so much for your support. We hope that the Easter Spirit, of new hope and forgiveness, will abide with your family all year long!

A Father’s Appreciation

This post is a cut and paste of an email received from a father of one of the boys (Mark*) reconciled in July 2013. They wrote to say thank you after our most recent visit yesterday. The only corrections we made in editing were in respect to privacy of names and spelling, which are underlined. Please read and be encouraged!

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Ma, I hereby tender my appreciation to fair life africa on behalf of my family for tremendous job that your Organisation have done for my family. You erect my dilapidated family to the standard structure, you refurbish my family from scrap to grade one, IF NOT you, where Mark could have been today? he might be a convict or run into the hand of Ritualist. but i can boast of him. even his attitude are far better than the time he was with us. PARTICULARLY, I direct  my appreciation to the CEO, Mrs Ufuoma Ashogbon, OLOROGUN &    her entire staffs.  May Almighty GOD be with you all{Amen} Today, Mark’s education that was abolished is now continuing, Our business that has crashed is now commencing through your family support of new  BIG THERMOCOOL FREEZER  worth N120,000 and cash of N50,000 for purchasing of SOFT DRINKS and PROVISIONS. and so many other donations that i cannot mention due to the mobile page limit. GOD WILL REWARD YOU IN ABUNDANCE. AMEN

Three FLA Kids

The Prodigal Son – A Story About Second Chances

This is the latest Globalgiving Report which was published yesterday evening, minutes after it was sent for approval!  It was rated a 5 Excellent!!!  How do you rate it?  If you like what we do, please sponsor our work and join the family of supporters today.  Thank you so much.

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Many of us have heard the tale of the ‘Prodigal Son’ as recorded in the Bible. We all know the lesson well. The bottom line is – the Father forgives and receives his child who returns home, even after all he had squandered away.

However, many wonder if this type of forgiveness is possible in real life. Are real fathers able to forgive and embrace a child who may have stolen from them, lied about them, ruined their business and their name, and take that child back believing that he can, or even HAS, changed? Is it really possible to get a second chance?

This is a story for those who believe in second chances. This is a story for those who understand that forgiveness is not based on the measure of wrongs, but on the goodness of the heart that forgives. That is why we can all forgive anyone, and we can all get a second chance. However, this version of ‘The Prodigal Son’ has two parties who need to give and to receive forgiveness…

John is a 15 year old boy from Oyo state, Nigeria. He is the only child of his parents, but has step-siblings. John’s father married two wives, but his mother left their home when he was still quite young. We met John at a Police Shelter, where he was being looked after as a lost child, after he had spent some time on the street working for a woman at Oshodi, in Lagos. Fair Life Africa intervened by taking him along on a home tracing excursion.

On this trip, we located his father in Ibadan. At that time (September 2012), neither of them was ready to be reconciled. John’s father complained that this was not the first time that John had run away from home, and he couldn’t understand his behaviour. John’s initial story was that he did not intentionally leave home, but had lost the money that he was given to go for an errand. The truth was that he had lost the money for his return trip, but when someone offered him bus fare to go down to Lagos, he chose to follow the other child rather than to return home. He said that he was afraid that he would be flogged by his father for returning so late, which was an expected outcome.

John became a resident at the Respite Home in September, with the expectation that in time, he would be ready to return home to his father. He was enrolled into a primary school, despite his age, because his educational standard was low. While at the Home, he also attended group and one to one counselling sessions with our social worker, which he participated well in and he has shown significant progress emotionally.

John proved himself to be hardworking and generally well behaved. He derives joy from impressing people around him and loves to be noticed and acknowledged. He has improved considerably in hygiene, as he takes care of himself and his space well. He also does chores assigned to him happily without grumbling and often offers a helping hand. Academically, John was one of the top scorers in his class (3rd place), and showed that he had potential, but needs someone to encourage and guide him to apply himself.

Efforts to reconcile father and child commenced early, with regular phone calls and invitations to his family to visit the Home. In terms of distance and finance, it was a challenge for them, but they were encouraged by our persistence and honoured our invitation to attend our Christmas Party. After that, they visited again, and the process of reconciliation was well underway…

Most of the boys were initially sceptical about the idea of returning home, but soon, it was the ‘in-thing’. Once a child’s family visited the Home, they all wanted the same experience. And so, John longed for his chance to go home and spend the weekend with his family, after Derek (another child we wrote about) enjoyed this opportunity. Not long after, John also went home for the weekend, and then a few weeks later, he enjoyed a long Easter break with his family in Ibadan.

We are pleased to report that after ten months at our Home, the reconciliatory process with John and his family has been a successful one. John’s father came twice in July to the Home, as the time for the return of his child drew near. He came first to attend a final meeting and assessment session, where he and John were both counselled on how to approach their relationship moving forward. The father was counselled to adopt alternatives methods of disciplining his child, which will not cause him to be afraid of him, but to draw near to him in times of trouble. John was also reminded that running away would not solve his problem, and that his story could have ended very badly, like many of the cases of children who live on the streets and come to untimely death.

On the 27th of July, John’s father was among the parents who attended our Leaving Party for the boys graduating from our programme. We were not sure if he would come, given that he had already come just over a week before, and money and distance were obstacles for his family, but we were sure glad to see him! The boys performed a drama for their families, which illustrated the lessons they had learnt from their time of ‘prodigal’ behaviour. The CEO’s message also re-affirmed each parent’s need to make the sacrifice and come. She recounted how well the Father had celebrated the return of His child, and compelled all that indeed there is a reason for us to celebrate now. Rather than focusing on what was lost (time, money, resources, friends etc), we should focus on what was gained and has been restored. Read The Leaving Party report.

Peter, Derek, James, Andrew and Mark’s families were also around on the 27th to take their children Home, and shared their testimonies during the ceremony. Simon and Thomas returned home the following week, as Simon’s family was unable to make it down, and we needed to stabilise Thomas’s living conditions before he returned home. Peter’s families also received aid from Fair Life Africa Foundation, which enabled his family to rent a new and better suited accommodation.

John and his father left the Respite Home after the ceremony for Ibadan, loaded up with gifts and provisions. We are sure that we won’t find John on the street again. We can testify that he has changed, and we believe also that his father has changed too. Thank you for your support which enabled this miracle of reconciliation. Read up on other inspiring stories of the FLA Kids at http://www.fairlifeafricablog.com.

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